It's a Fine Line...

No, not between love and hate, although that's typically how that phrase ends.

In this case, it's a fine line between writing erotica and writing a steamy scene. Yes, I'm writing a book. Yes, there's a steamy scene or two in it. And dammit, I feel like I'm being stifled (by myself) because I keep writing what I want to write and then erasing, erasing, erasing.

Why? Because my son knows I'm writing a book and will want to read it eventually, and gaaaah at the thought of him reading that even when he's older. Not enough brain bleach in the world. And then there's my parents who are both avid readers and will read the book, and again, brain bleach. Gallons. Just no.

So, I will keep stifling myself in the novel to a certain extent and be very glad I have this blog so I can write whatever I feel like it as it ain't going in the book. :D

Eff, Marry, Kill: The Latest Version

If you've frequently read this blog, you know how much I enjoy "Fuck, Marry, Kill" quizzes and this one from Buzzfeed is just as good as the rest:

1) Ryan Gosling, Ryan Reynolds, Ryan Kwanten

EFF (Because apparently Blogger doesn't like me writing "Fuck" all the time and keeps crashing): Ryan Kwanten, because I've watched that boy on "True Blood" far too many times to not want to
MARRY: Ryan Gosling, because please. His character in The Notebook. Done. Dusted.
KILL: Ryan Reynolds. I'm sorry, baby, but one of you had to go.

2) Jessica Alba, Jessica Biel, Jessica Chastain

EFF: Jessica Alba, because the girl is smoking. Have you seen "Sin City"? If not, go now. You'll thank me.
MARRY: Jessica Biel, because she's also hot.
KILL: Jessica Chastain, because she seems a bit too nice.

3) John Hamm, John Krasinski, John Stamos

EFF John Hamm. I mean helllloooo. That bulge is well-known. What girl in her right mind would pass up giving that a try?
MARRY: John Krasinski. He seems like a total sweetheart.
KILL: John Stamos. Sorry, Uncle Jesse.

4) Jennifer Hudson, Jennifer Lawrence, Jennifer Lopez

EFF: Jennifer Lopez, because she has killer dance moves.
MARRY: Jennifer Lawrence, because she seems hysterical and would be fun.
KILL: Jennifer Hudson. Props to her for the weight loss, but JLo and JLaw win.

5) Michael B. Jordan, Michael Fassbender, Michael Cera

EFF: Michael Fassbender. Again, it's all about the rumors about the bulge.
MARRY: Michael B. Jordan. Don't know much about him, but hey.
KILL: Michael Cera. No question. None. Does nothing for me.

6) Rachel McAdams, Rachel Bilson, Rachel Weisz

EFF: Rachel Weisz, because she just seems the hottest.
MARRY: Rachel McAdams -- again because of "The Notebook"
KILL: Rachel Bilson. Nothing against her, but she just doesn't seem effable.

7) Adam Levine, Adam Scott, Adam Brody

EFF: Adam Levine. Mainly due to that Rolling Stone cover, or whichever one it was with the hand over his crotch.
MARRY: Adam Scott, because he's just adorable!
KILL: Adam Brody by default.

8) Kate Hudson, Kate Winslet, Katy Perry

EFF: Katy Perry, because then I'll be connected in a way to her ex Russell Brand.
MARRY: Kate Winslet because I've always loved her.
KILL: Kate Hudson for no real reason.

9) Hugh Dancy, Hugh Grant, Hugh Jackman

EFF: Hugh Grant -- mainly for his dance in "Love, Actually" and an accent will always get me.
MARRY: Hugh Dancy because despite his role in that Silence of the Lambs tv series, he's really cute.
KILL: Hugh Jackman. Sorry, dude.

10) Destiny's Child: Kelly, Michelle, Beyonce

EFF: Beyonce. Come on. It's Queen Bee.
MARRY: Kelly for no real reason.
KILL: Michelle for no real reason. It's really all about Queen Bee.

With Apologies to the Muppets

Learned about two new-to-me terms this past week.

First, the reason for the title of this blog post -- "Gonzo". Now, when I thought of Gonzo before this week, I thought of the long-nosed Muppet. Not anymore. LOL

Instead, now I know that "Gonzo" means a type of porn started in the 90s where there isn't a storyline and instead one gets straight to the sex. Huh. Had no idea that existed. I completely understand the use for it -- especially since in so many porn movies, the dialogue is just awful and takes you far, far away from any resemblance of being turned on. Although you could always watch with the sound off... But still. You're then watching two clothed people talking. Boooorrrrring.

Plus, come on, if you're watching a porn, do you really want to have to sit through the part about a job interview, or the non-sexual part of a massage, or the pizza boy arriving at the door -- or do you just want to get straight to it? Yeah, that's what I thought.

Sorry, Gonzo. As much as I am enjoying watching the new Muppets tv series, I'm going to chuckle every time you're on the screen. And I'm very glad I haven't stumbled across any porn starring Gonzo himself. :-O

The second term: "Netflix and Chill". Okay, I've heard this and seriously thought it just meant chilling out (aka relaxing) while watching Netflix. Seems legit, right?

<insert Price of Right loser music here> Yeah, no. It means coming over to someone's house just for sex. Alright, kids, really? Nowhere from "Netflix and Chill" do I get the idea of sex. If I'm watching Netflix, I want to watch Netflix. Now, call it Redtube and Chill or YouPorn and Chill and it makes sense. But Netflix and Chill? Nope. I don't get it.

However, should someone invite you over to "Netflix and Chill", now you'll know what they really mean. It's the new "Come on up for some coffee", I guess.