Caught this article, 15 Hard Facts about Boners, on Buzzfeed today. And damn, boys, how the hell do you walk around with those things?!
11 erections in a day are common? Good luck having that not noticed in a work meeting!
Smoking can cause an erection to be smaller than it normally would? Hmm, if that's not a reason for any guy to give up smoking, I don't know what will.
Fascinating reading here, peeps.
Thursday, December 18, 2014
Wednesday, December 17, 2014
Red Peters: Ballsy Songs to Delight Your Inner 12-Year Old
Was typing the phrase "the whole family" today when an old Red Peters song came into my head. It's called "How's Your Whole... Family?". I was introduced to these songs back in the mid-90s -- pretty sure it was through the Howard Stern show. Anyhoo, all of the lyrics are blatant innuendos, due to space placement when singing, such as a line in the song of "Won't you do my as... trological chart?" And "Suck on a stiff cock... tail with me".
Yes, his music so appeals to my inner 12-year old. Very, very much so.
Come on. The guy wrote "The Ballad of a Dog Named Stains" just so he could build up to singing "Come Stains". (Think about it for a second if you have to... All set there, Sparky?)
Good stuff. If you haven't checked it out or ever heard of him before --- and you don't mind truly bawdy lyrics, take a listen. :)
Yes, his music so appeals to my inner 12-year old. Very, very much so.
Come on. The guy wrote "The Ballad of a Dog Named Stains" just so he could build up to singing "Come Stains". (Think about it for a second if you have to... All set there, Sparky?)
Good stuff. If you haven't checked it out or ever heard of him before --- and you don't mind truly bawdy lyrics, take a listen. :)
Sunday, December 14, 2014
People be Crazy & Amazingly Forward
I'm about to date myself a bit here, but the last time I was dating (been married for a while now) the Internet was only just taking off and I seem to remember that cell phones were just used for calls then. No texting nor FB messaging nor camera phones.
No, I didn't date in the 50s, but sometimes I feel like I really did when I hear tales from friends of what's going on out there in this strange new world of dating or hooking up.
A friend (young guy in his late 20s) has been regaling a group of us (we all think of each other as family -- he's like our younger brother) with the tales of the crazy women he has encountered. What he said today however took the cake. I was speechless for a few minutes -- which is a rarity!
He said that girls he doesn't even know/has never met nor spoken to before message him asking him for sex. What?? I'm sorry. What?? This is a thing? Wtf, kids?
One girl messaged him for the first time ever complimenting his eyes in his profile pic and said that he better get over there before she dries up. Holy shit. I would have never, ever sent something like that to someone -- let alone someone I've never spoken to before.
The scariest thing is that this a pretty common occurrence, which means many girls are doing the same thing. Since this is something that's happening often, it makes me think girls are doing so because it has actually worked on other guys in the past. Ack.
I'm just baffled. And horrified for both genders, because I've of course seen the Tinder posts on Buzzfeed where a guy asks a woman for sex in his first contact with her or sends a dick pic to her without her request. So yes, it's both genders that are being just insanely rude.
What the ever-loving fuck, people? Find some class. Maybe these antics will get you a one-night stand, but I can't imagine it will ever lead to a lasting relationship. Wise up (and wow -- I'm sounding ancient here. Is "Get off my lawn" next??).
But kids, find some self-confidence and stop hitting full-throttle on anyone you come across. Not cool.
No, I didn't date in the 50s, but sometimes I feel like I really did when I hear tales from friends of what's going on out there in this strange new world of dating or hooking up.
A friend (young guy in his late 20s) has been regaling a group of us (we all think of each other as family -- he's like our younger brother) with the tales of the crazy women he has encountered. What he said today however took the cake. I was speechless for a few minutes -- which is a rarity!
He said that girls he doesn't even know/has never met nor spoken to before message him asking him for sex. What?? I'm sorry. What?? This is a thing? Wtf, kids?
One girl messaged him for the first time ever complimenting his eyes in his profile pic and said that he better get over there before she dries up. Holy shit. I would have never, ever sent something like that to someone -- let alone someone I've never spoken to before.
The scariest thing is that this a pretty common occurrence, which means many girls are doing the same thing. Since this is something that's happening often, it makes me think girls are doing so because it has actually worked on other guys in the past. Ack.
I'm just baffled. And horrified for both genders, because I've of course seen the Tinder posts on Buzzfeed where a guy asks a woman for sex in his first contact with her or sends a dick pic to her without her request. So yes, it's both genders that are being just insanely rude.
What the ever-loving fuck, people? Find some class. Maybe these antics will get you a one-night stand, but I can't imagine it will ever lead to a lasting relationship. Wise up (and wow -- I'm sounding ancient here. Is "Get off my lawn" next??).
But kids, find some self-confidence and stop hitting full-throttle on anyone you come across. Not cool.
Monday, December 8, 2014
Trickedoo for Sons of Anarchy Fans
Seriously? People are crazed to find out how "Sons of Anarchy" is going to end as a series and ideas are swirling.
Well, not for everyone. The creators of the show put biiiig tidbits about the series finale into a book, which was then released a bit earlier than planned. Namely, before the series finale aired.
Holy fuck. That's quite a mistake. The show's creator, Kurt Sutter, has said that heads will roll over the incompetence, but he also takes responsibility since the book and the information in it was his idea. Gotta appreciate that.
Now, I've never seen the show -- screenshots of Charlie Hunnam's ass notwithstanding -- so I don't care if I learn about the series finale spoiler details or not. But for those who have watched the show for years... Maybe stay offline til the finale airs. Because that's doable, right?
Well, not for everyone. The creators of the show put biiiig tidbits about the series finale into a book, which was then released a bit earlier than planned. Namely, before the series finale aired.
Holy fuck. That's quite a mistake. The show's creator, Kurt Sutter, has said that heads will roll over the incompetence, but he also takes responsibility since the book and the information in it was his idea. Gotta appreciate that.
Now, I've never seen the show -- screenshots of Charlie Hunnam's ass notwithstanding -- so I don't care if I learn about the series finale spoiler details or not. But for those who have watched the show for years... Maybe stay offline til the finale airs. Because that's doable, right?
Sunday, December 7, 2014
Sexy Mother Pucker
Okay, you got me, Sephora. Sending me your latest email advertisement and putting Sexy Mother Pucker XL Extreme-Plump Collagen Lip Shine right in the middle of it did indeed catch my eye.
One, because I'm a 12 year old boy at heart and Sexy Mother Pucker is funny.
Two, because we all know that when guys think of big plump lips, they think of blow jobs -- and well, that's always fun and hot.
Well played, Sephora. Although telling me it should be a gift for my "superb sister" might not be the case. I'm thinking I want that for me.
Yoo hoo, Santa baby...
One, because I'm a 12 year old boy at heart and Sexy Mother Pucker is funny.
Two, because we all know that when guys think of big plump lips, they think of blow jobs -- and well, that's always fun and hot.
Well played, Sephora. Although telling me it should be a gift for my "superb sister" might not be the case. I'm thinking I want that for me.
Yoo hoo, Santa baby...
Thursday, December 4, 2014
A Leap of Fun
Part of my sex toy biz is hosting parties to demo the products -- no, not porn. I'm not demo'ing them on myself nor others, despite what some may think. I just hold up the products, turn on the products that are turn-on'able and show them off.
Anyhoo, some of these parties are FB events. And for those I record videos in advance so I'm not pulling out the toys and talking about them while my son is in the house. Wee bit illegal that.
Well, for a party tonight, I dug out a bullet from my bag that has a wired control to it. I had heard rave, rave, rave reviews about this product but hadn't tried it nor ever turned it on. So on the video, I turned on the bullet and it is so powerful that it literally leapt out of my hand. Holy shit. That is power right there.
Yeaaah, I'll be raving about that product at parties now. Yowza. And it absolutely scored on the nose test -- where you see how a vibrator would feel on your clit or on your partner's shaft by placing it against the tip of your nose. Total wow factor.
Anyhoo, some of these parties are FB events. And for those I record videos in advance so I'm not pulling out the toys and talking about them while my son is in the house. Wee bit illegal that.
Well, for a party tonight, I dug out a bullet from my bag that has a wired control to it. I had heard rave, rave, rave reviews about this product but hadn't tried it nor ever turned it on. So on the video, I turned on the bullet and it is so powerful that it literally leapt out of my hand. Holy shit. That is power right there.
Yeaaah, I'll be raving about that product at parties now. Yowza. And it absolutely scored on the nose test -- where you see how a vibrator would feel on your clit or on your partner's shaft by placing it against the tip of your nose. Total wow factor.
Wednesday, December 3, 2014
A 15-Minute Orgasm from Marijuana
Despite having this blog, I am pretty straight-laced. Have never even smoked a cigarette, let alone marijuana -- yes, y'all can start singing "Look At Me. I'm Sandra Dee" now. Go ahead.
But with that said, my buddy Ginger directed me to an article today about a lubricant made from marijuana, which has been shown to cause a 15-minute long continuous orgasm. Hmm. Mmmm. Sorry -- was in daydream mode for a second there.
It's funny because when I think of someone taking marijuana -- and this is based entirely on movies -- I think of laid-back lackadaisical people who are in rush to do anything. And y'all have heard of (or experienced) alcohol dick, right? Aka the inability to get it up when one is plastered? Yeah, I kind of just assumed it was the same thing when one takes marijuana.
But, based on this article, maybe I'm wrong. Not that I'm going to take up smoking marijuana, but this marijuana lubricant sounds all kinds of interesting. Sadly, it's only currently available to medical marijuana patients in California. Make that accessible nation-wide now. Please.
But with that said, my buddy Ginger directed me to an article today about a lubricant made from marijuana, which has been shown to cause a 15-minute long continuous orgasm. Hmm. Mmmm. Sorry -- was in daydream mode for a second there.
It's funny because when I think of someone taking marijuana -- and this is based entirely on movies -- I think of laid-back lackadaisical people who are in rush to do anything. And y'all have heard of (or experienced) alcohol dick, right? Aka the inability to get it up when one is plastered? Yeah, I kind of just assumed it was the same thing when one takes marijuana.
But, based on this article, maybe I'm wrong. Not that I'm going to take up smoking marijuana, but this marijuana lubricant sounds all kinds of interesting. Sadly, it's only currently available to medical marijuana patients in California. Make that accessible nation-wide now. Please.
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