Bring It On, 2015

First, why can't I type 2015 without instead typing 2915? That's going to be awesome...

Wishing you all a rollicking New Year's Eve and 2015 (or 2915) that includes good vibrations of all sorts, peace, love and understanding.

See you all in 2015!

Play-Doh: My First Dildo

Wow. Just wow.

So, Play-Doh has a Cake Mountain set, which includes a frosting extruder. Okay, all fine, except that the clear frosting extruder happens to look like a penis -- or as the article lists it, a "veiny donk". And about there is where I burst into hysterics because I've never heard the term "donk" used for a penis before.

Parents are of course in an uproar because their wee precious lambs are playing with what closely resembles plastic dildos. Oy, people, please unclench a bit. If your kids know what a dildo looks like, I'm going to take a wild guess they're not playing with Play-Doh.

And this faux dildo spurts out "frosting"? Pardon me while my inner 12-year old loves the evilness that created this product.

Now excuse me -- I need to run out to Target to see if they have any more of these in stock. I already have party guests create penises out of Play-Doh at my sex toy parties. Now they'll have a mold!

My Latest "Freebie" List

As it should, the "freebie" list changes over time. And mine definitely has. Here's the latest one:

1. Alexander Skaarsgard -- The height. Those arms. That ass. The ability to look like a Norse god while sitting out in the snow buck naked, and the confidence to know he's damn fine and to go full-frontal on screen while doing so. Oh, yes, he gets the first spot.
2. Kevin Nash back when he started out in WCW as Diesel. Again, the height, those muscles, and the knowledge that he could easily protect me from anything. Yup, yup, yup.
3. Michael Landon -- I get it. This one's a bit random. But work with me here. Pa from "Little House on the Prarie" was hot. And even when he played an angel in "Highway to Heaven", he still had that highly do-able quality.
4. Bruce Willis -- Specifically in "Die Hard". Hot and lean and powerful. Yippee-ki-yay mother fucker, indeed.
5. David Bowie as the Goblin King in "Labyrinth". Yeah, that probably shows a whole slew of S&M interests there, but he was hooooot. And hell, I wrote a whole blog post previously about that bulge.

Okay, who's on your list?

Ball Shrinkage

Okay, we've all heard about shrinkage -- and if you're a woman and didn't know that penises shrink in the cold, you knew after that Seinfeld episode, am I right?

Well, I just learned today that balls also shrink in the cold. What?? How is that even possible? I was shocked when I heard that.

Seriously, not a clue how you guys walk around with those things.

Resolutions for 2015

It's nearing the end of the year, which of course means it's New Year's resolutions time, right?

But what if you're not a big fan of resolutions -- mainly because you tend to make resolutions and then let them kind of fall away by the wayside... Not that I've ever done that, no. Okay, fine. I most certainly have. I make a great coach because keeping other people motivated in their resolutions is as easy as breathing for me. I want other people to succeed and stick with them to make it so.

Myself? Hmm, I kind of think that would be a whole other blog suitable for a therapist's reading if I delved into how I falter on my own resolutions and don't focus on making my own success/happiness  happen. 😁

So, instead of opening that can of worms, let's focus on two resolutions I know I can and will make happen:
1. Drink more water. I know I don't drink nearly enough which leads to feeling mildly dehydrated and that equals bad. So water. And the right amounts of it.
2. Finally finish writing that book. A few things have happened in the past couple of weeks that brought the book to the forefront again, and now it is really time to make it happen. So I will.

So, what's your resolution? I want to know.

Eff, Marry, Kill -- The I Can't Even Edition

Anyone who's read this blog knows I love the "Fuck, Marry, Kill" game and this latest one from Buzzfeed is no exception.

I was merrily going down (the list, pervs) when I got to the part of "Bloodsucking guys who look great in tank tops" -- consists of Marcel from "The Originals", Damon Salvatore from "Vampire Diaries" and Mr. Eric Northman from "True Blood".

Now, Mr. Eric Northman (and the actor who plays him -- Alexander Skarsgard) has always been the primo #1 on my celeb freebie list. Come on.... Look at him. He's tall; built and just hooot. He's sex on a stick. He's also blonde, which has never been my thing, but for him? Dayum. Just dayum.

So, he's an easy one for the Fuck or Marry choice. No question. Hell, both. Fuck him and marry him. But Marcel and Damon? I also want both of them. Can I just fuck or marry or both all of them?

I don't want to kill any of these guys. That would be a travesty to hotness everywhere. I won't. Not gonna do it. Just no.

So, these three boys get their own game -- Fuck, Fuck or Fuck. Everyone wins.

15 Facts about Boners

Caught this article, 15 Hard Facts about Boners, on Buzzfeed today. And damn, boys, how the hell do you walk around with those things?!

11 erections in a day are common? Good luck having that not noticed in a work meeting!

Smoking can cause an erection to be smaller than it normally would? Hmm, if that's not a reason for any guy to give up smoking, I don't know what will.

Fascinating reading here, peeps.