The Problem with Perfect

I was scrolling down my FB newsfeed this morning and a post from "Single Dad Laughing" titled My Old Friend, the Disease Called "Perfection" caught my eye. I stopped to read it as his posts always move me and found myself tearing up whilst reading about how everyone pretends everything is perfect when what we really need is "real".

Wow, did that ever strike a chord with me because hell, I know quite a few people think my life is perfect -- and that is all because that's what I show. I'm one for keeping the bad off of FB and usually keeping it from pretty much everyone because I'm known as "Little Miss Sunshine"... The woman who always has a smile on her face and happy things to share.

For anyone who knows me and reads this, you get that's not always the case, right? I don't walk around surrounded by sunshine and rainbows and puppies. My life has just as many low points as anyone else's. I just choose not to show them.

But -- in the interest of sharing the "real" in case this helps anyone out there who may be comparing themselves to my sunshiny posts...

- I was on anti-anxiety meds for close to 4 years after a job that put me into one of hell of a depression and massive lack of sleep, and WebMDing, which convinced me I had something really wrong with me. Nope, just anxiety and anxiety brought on about the anxiety by good ol WebMD. (And yes, I no longer visit the site. Just don't...) I was still on those meds for a few years after I got out of that job, but haven't taken them in a few weeks and have even gotten through being impacted by a recent layoff without them. (Oops, it's tough to shake the Little Miss Sunshine bit...)

- Speaking of that layoff, I know I've been puppies and rainbows about it. It IS giving me the chance to move on and start something new, but the thought of something new and not succeeding or not being able to pay the bills if I don't find something long-term does indeed worry me. It's not giving me near the anxiety I had before, but heck, I'm human. If I wasn't worried at all, I'd think I was a cyborg.

- Was talking about this one with some excellent friends just the other day. In high school, I felt like a ghost -- basically non-existent. I was so, so shy and kept to myself to the point that I spent lunches in the library so I wouldn't have to sit at a table by myself. All these years later, those high school years still haunt me. I've found self confidence in spades since then, along with freaking amazing friends and lots of love. But, that ghost and those feelings of not existing nor being noticed is still there -- which also makes me wonder if things like hell even starting this blog are really just a means of attention-getting. Will be pondering that one a bit more.

So, yes, there you have it. Some realness for the day, kids. Share your real below. It's anonymous.