Coffee, Scars & Other Things

I've been watching Hulu's 11.22.63 (and if you haven't, go now and watch it -- amazing, but also read the book because it is quadruple amazing) and I've been very, very, very leery of watching the most recent 3 episodes as one character gets injured and develops a lasting scar. I'm being vague as hell here for anyone who hasn't watched/read and doesn't want to know.

Wasn't sure at all why the thought of seeing it was freaking me out so much, because hell, I'm a Game of Thrones fan and have seen decapitations and worse and been completely fine. And yes, I know it's fiction and no one's really getting injured, but I was still worried about this one stupid scene. 

Thankfully, a good friend is also watching the show and assured me that it really wasn't that bad. So I watched and yes, dear reader, it was completely fine. (Okay, so I watched from behind my fingers -- you know, like when you're watching a horror movie and hold your hand in front of your face to kind of hide what's going on on the screen. Not sure why that works, but it does LOL)

Anyhoo, I was thinking about that this morning while taking a shower and happened to be putting some sugar scrub on my right arm and shoulder and caught a glimpse of a scar I have on my shoulder. Oh, hey, dawning light. Lasting scars. Yup, I know about them. 

My story is nowhere near as awful as the book/movie but it's mine. I was with my family at a family friends' house for dinner one night back when I was 9 or 10. I know it was before 5th grade as we moved away right before 5th grade and it hadn't just happened then. So maybe 3rd grade? We had finished dinner and my parents and their parents were in the kitchen while the kids were playing in the living room. I was wearing a wrap skirt and wanted to be a ballerina at the time, so I came dancing into the kitchen to show off my dance moves and twirls. But, as I made a twirl, my wrap skirt started to come apart. Ack. I twirled the other way to gather the skirt back up and twirled straight into my mom, who was turning from the kitchen stove with a freshly brewed pot of coffee in her hand. I knocked into her arm (not her fault at all -- entirely mine and that damn wrap skirt) and the coffee spilled straight onto my right shoulder. Yup, ouch. 

Thankfully, my memories of after that have faded quite a bit over the years, but I do remember screaming in their bathroom off the kitchen as my mom (who's a nurse) put cold water on the burn to soothe it before we rushed to the ER, and I remember something about being in the hospital and the mention of skin grafts -- although I don't know if I actually needed a skin graft or if it was mentioned that I didn't need one. 

I also remember not wanting to wear a tank top nor a bathing suit without a shirt on top of it for years upon years after because I felt so hideous with this quarter-sized raised red scar on my shoulder. I wouldn't even let my then BFF see the scar three years later after I'd moved to the new town for Dad's new job and I was having a sleepover. I felt like a monster. 

So, yeah, anything that mentions "lasting scar" is apparently a bit of a trigger for me. Oof. Now, all these years later, I only rarely think of the scar. It's faded over time to be the color of the rest of my shoulder -- although it's a bit pink today. It must know I'm thinking about it. ;) It's still there (of course) but I happily have been sporting tank tops for years without giving it a second thought. Time really does heal all wounds.

As for coffee, that smell from that moment turned me off to coffee so much that I never drank coffee until about 4 years ago. I'd never realized until just today that there might have been a reason for that because the smell of the coffee made me think for so long about the scar. I probably would have gone on never drinking coffee except that an old friend knew I loved pumpkin everything and that my office at the time had a Keurig machine, so he sent some pumpkin spice K-cups to me at the office. I couldn't not try them after that so I had one and put a toooon of creamer in it. And I really liked it. That moved on to French Vanilla coffee with loads of french vanilla creamer and milk, and now I'm where I actually prefer it more as a regular coffee with a bit more milk but no sugar whatsoever. Guess that affiliation has also been busted in my head. 

And now, dear reader, I'm taking myself to the lake to sit and read. :) And yes, I'll be wearing a tank top. 

Torn between Two Lovers...

Bachelor Ben's acting like a fool... Telling two bachelorettes you love them is breaking alll the ruuuules...

Yeah, sorry for that earworm, but "The Bachelor" got it in my head, so I share my pain with you all.

Oh, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben. What were you thinking? Or really, what were you thinking WITH and I think we all know the question to that. Oh, hey there, "little Ben". Or maybe not so little considering JoJo's statement post-Fantasy Suite that the night prior exceeded her imagination. Hmm, think I'll have to look at Benny Boy in a whole new light. Although I think we saw a bit of that during his waterfall romp with JoJo. Hellloooo, pitched tent in those swim trunks. But, jeez, considering JoJo's bikini top that was hardly holding in the faux girls, I kind of can't blame him.

Poor Caila. Girl got shafted. Umm, pun wasn't intentional there, but I'm leaving it because it's true in both senses. I feel for her having to sit through watching this episode seeing how happy she was blissfully unaware that Ben was telling Lauren and JoJo that he loved them -- while she thought that he was saying he loved her with his eyes and his breath. His breath? Is that a thing? What on earth was in his breath that made her think that? Pheromones aren't secreted via breath, honey. I got shades of Olivia with that statement. Ben is pretty open with his feelings -- and this ep made that all too clear. If he's feeling something he's going to say it. There's no hidden/subtle signs here.

But on a truly shallow (which I've already showed in spades I am), Caila's hair? Holy shit. What does she use because the girl has gorgeous, gorgeous hair. It's most likely genetics but still. Sweetie, I'm sure hair companies will be calling you for ads because you have hair commercial hair. That's a compliment, really. I may have issued a gazillion "Oh, honey"s during Caila's part of the episode, but she's gorgeous and was a true class act when she was let go. Even when she got out of the car to question him -- and thankfully stopped herself from asking if he knew before they had sex -- it was classy through and through. May have also been an audition of sorts for "The Bachelorette", but hey, girl had it spot on with the class. Props.

Next was Lauren. According to sources, the dates actually filmed with Caila first then JoJo and then Lauren with a day in between each... which makes sense for giving little Ben time to recover in between each fantasy suite if he really did sleep with all three women. I've got to admit. This part of this show always skeeves me out. If the Bachelor or Bachelorette really does know who they're going to pick from the beginning, why have sex with all three or even just two just because they can. I get it that people want to sow their wild oats (yes, old phrase - get off my lawn, kids!) but if I was on this show (neveeeeer gonna happen since I'm old and not single), I would not be thrilled being picked knowing that my fiance just slept with two other women. No thank you. Just ick galore.

Sorry, rant there. Back to Lauren. First, what was with her gait? It looked like she'd just ridden a horse (not a euphemism there). One blogger posted that it looks like she was chafed. If so, aaack at the thought of being chafed/irritated right before Fantasy Suite night. I'm just going to let that sink in for a minute because chafing and irritation would not at all lead to sexy time in the fantasy suite. There would be a BJ and that is about it because otherwise, that's just further irritation and there's not enough alcohol in the world to make that not be horrific. Anyhoo, let's just hope that's how she's always walked and it's just never been noticeable before. Ben sure looked happy enough the morning after (and the film crew made sure to show Lauren's dress lying on the floor LOL) so clearly they did get intimate in whatever sense.

It really was adorable when he said that he's known for a while that he's in love with her. It was LESS adorable when he then said "I love you" to JoJo, too. Or actually it was to JoJo first knowing the filming schedule, but whatever.

JoJo's date under the waterfall definitely did look hot. Girl, DO go chase those waterfalls. They're a good location for ya. And her reaction to Ben telling her he loved her, too, was so, so real and surprised. Loved the look on her face as she said "What? Can you actually say that?" She was taken by surprise and it was a really sweet moment. Again, I'm sure that she and Lauren both watched this episode saying wtf to Ben saying it to both of them. And it left me wondering how the chosen girl (no spoilers here) felt watching this episode now that she's engaged to the guy. That's not a spoiler. He admitted it on a morning show Tuesday morning. Ooof. Again, brutal.

Caila's departure was so sad -- and had producer-driven antics all over it. There's no question that they put in her ear that she should go over and surprise him, knowing that he'd told JoJo and Lauren that he loved them and would be sending Caila home. I'm glad that he didn't wait til the rose ceremony to do so, but it still stung for the poor girl. She was so happy coming up to him to surprise him.

And that rose ceremony. Oooof. Two roses, two girls. Easy. But that hug that Ben gave to both of them as it sunk in that both of the girls looked happy and like they were both confident had to be tough as hell. The look on each one's face as the other gave their toast about "fantasy suites" and "love" was awful.

Next week is the Women Tell All, and then the most. dramatic. finale. ever. So much has been made about the phone call that Ben makes from the proposal location, but my guess is he's just calling his parents/mom like he did in the very first episode. No drama there.