Bachelor Ben's acting like a fool... Telling two bachelorettes you love them is breaking alll the ruuuules...
Yeah, sorry for that earworm, but "The Bachelor" got it in my head, so I share my pain with you all.
Oh, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben. What were you thinking? Or really, what were you thinking WITH and I think we all know the question to that. Oh, hey there, "little Ben". Or maybe not so little considering JoJo's statement post-Fantasy Suite that the night prior exceeded her imagination. Hmm, think I'll have to look at Benny Boy in a whole new light. Although I think we saw a bit of that during his waterfall romp with JoJo. Hellloooo, pitched tent in those swim trunks. But, jeez, considering JoJo's bikini top that was hardly holding in the faux girls, I kind of can't blame him.
Poor Caila. Girl got shafted. Umm, pun wasn't intentional there, but I'm leaving it because it's true in both senses. I feel for her having to sit through watching this episode seeing how happy she was blissfully unaware that Ben was telling Lauren and JoJo that he loved them -- while she thought that he was saying he loved her with his eyes and his breath. His breath? Is that a thing? What on earth was in his breath that made her think that? Pheromones aren't secreted via breath, honey. I got shades of Olivia with that statement. Ben is pretty open with his feelings -- and this ep made that all too clear. If he's feeling something he's going to say it. There's no hidden/subtle signs here.
But on a truly shallow (which I've already showed in spades I am), Caila's hair? Holy shit. What does she use because the girl has gorgeous, gorgeous hair. It's most likely genetics but still. Sweetie, I'm sure hair companies will be calling you for ads because you have hair commercial hair. That's a compliment, really. I may have issued a gazillion "Oh, honey"s during Caila's part of the episode, but she's gorgeous and was a true class act when she was let go. Even when she got out of the car to question him -- and thankfully stopped herself from asking if he knew before they had sex -- it was classy through and through. May have also been an audition of sorts for "The Bachelorette", but hey, girl had it spot on with the class. Props.
Next was Lauren. According to sources, the dates actually filmed with Caila first then JoJo and then Lauren with a day in between each... which makes sense for giving little Ben time to recover in between each fantasy suite if he really did sleep with all three women. I've got to admit. This part of this show always skeeves me out. If the Bachelor or Bachelorette really does know who they're going to pick from the beginning, why have sex with all three or even just two just because they can. I get it that people want to sow their wild oats (yes, old phrase - get off my lawn, kids!) but if I was on this show (neveeeeer gonna happen since I'm old and not single), I would not be thrilled being picked knowing that my fiance just slept with two other women. No thank you. Just ick galore.
Sorry, rant there. Back to Lauren. First, what was with her gait? It looked like she'd just ridden a horse (not a euphemism there). One blogger posted that it looks like she was chafed. If so, aaack at the thought of being chafed/irritated right before Fantasy Suite night. I'm just going to let that sink in for a minute because chafing and irritation would not at all lead to sexy time in the fantasy suite. There would be a BJ and that is about it because otherwise, that's just further irritation and there's not enough alcohol in the world to make that not be horrific. Anyhoo, let's just hope that's how she's always walked and it's just never been noticeable before. Ben sure looked happy enough the morning after (and the film crew made sure to show Lauren's dress lying on the floor LOL) so clearly they did get intimate in whatever sense.
It really was adorable when he said that he's known for a while that he's in love with her. It was LESS adorable when he then said "I love you" to JoJo, too. Or actually it was to JoJo first knowing the filming schedule, but whatever.
JoJo's date under the waterfall definitely did look hot. Girl, DO go chase those waterfalls. They're a good location for ya. And her reaction to Ben telling her he loved her, too, was so, so real and surprised. Loved the look on her face as she said "What? Can you actually say that?" She was taken by surprise and it was a really sweet moment. Again, I'm sure that she and Lauren both watched this episode saying wtf to Ben saying it to both of them. And it left me wondering how the chosen girl (no spoilers here) felt watching this episode now that she's engaged to the guy. That's not a spoiler. He admitted it on a morning show Tuesday morning. Ooof. Again, brutal.
Caila's departure was so sad -- and had producer-driven antics all over it. There's no question that they put in her ear that she should go over and surprise him, knowing that he'd told JoJo and Lauren that he loved them and would be sending Caila home. I'm glad that he didn't wait til the rose ceremony to do so, but it still stung for the poor girl. She was so happy coming up to him to surprise him.
And that rose ceremony. Oooof. Two roses, two girls. Easy. But that hug that Ben gave to both of them as it sunk in that both of the girls looked happy and like they were both confident had to be tough as hell. The look on each one's face as the other gave their toast about "fantasy suites" and "love" was awful.
Next week is the Women Tell All, and then the most. dramatic. finale. ever. So much has been made about the phone call that Ben makes from the proposal location, but my guess is he's just calling his parents/mom like he did in the very first episode. No drama there.
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