Just Breathe. Inhale. It's All the Same

Since it's April 20th -- aka 4/20 -- aka international (or is it national?) pot day, this seemed appropriate.

Let's start this right off the bat. I've never smoked pot -- or poked smot as said in "It's Complicated". And if y'all haven't seen that movie starring Meryl Streep, Alec Baldwin, John Krazinski and Steve Martin, go now. Seriously. Stop reading this post and go watch it. It is awesome. So freaking funny and just human and there's a whole scene about Meryl Streep smoking pot and it is hysterical.

I have nothing against smoking pot. Hell, I see the benefits of using it to relax and also in easing pains, anxiety, etc. I know far too many people who have been/are in pain from various forms of cancer and other issues and pot has helped them immensely, so I think it really needs to be legalized in all the states because the benefits there far outweigh the risks.

For me, it's a control thing. I like being in control of pretty much everything and feel I'd lose that if I ever smoked pot. I could be wrong, and of course that need to be in control probably shows a reason why I *should* try it. But I think about the one time I was having wisdom teeth pulled and they gave me laughing gas as I didn't want to be fully put under. Yeah, in about two minutes of being on the laughing gas, I thought the room was spinning and was convinced that the nurses and everyone else had left and forgotten about me and had left me there to die. Oy. Told the nurse, who not too surprisingly hadn't left the office, and she turned that off on the immediate and I was fine with just an extra shot of novocaine.

But yes I can see the allure. Having dealt with good ol' anxiety much of my life, which ebbs and flows depending on what's going on, something that would ease that shit seems like a good thing. But there's meth for that. Kidding. Seriously. (And to anyone reading this -- if you think I'm using meth when I won't even try pot, I've got a bridge to sell ya. ;) )

I was actually thinking of breathing and inhaling the other day -- but not in a pot way. I was receiving a Reiki treatment for the first time when it suddenly dawned on me that I might not be breathing properly. Seriously? Breathing properly?? Yes, again, anxiety hits -- clear sign there when I'm wondering if people could be critiquing the way I'm breathing during a Reiki treatment of all things. I suddenly became so focused on my breathing and inhales and exhales and wasn't at all focusing on oh, the relaxing I was supposed to be doing. I was much happier when I had to lie on my stomach instead of my back for the second half so my inhales and exhales weren't as evident.

This has happened as well during any massage I've had at a salon. At least during the first one. A couple of years back, I worked near a salon and regularly had massages. During the first one, I remember also wondering how my breathing was but then got out of my own head and was able to actually just let myself go and enjoy the massage and focus on how freaking relaxing it was rather than if I was breathing properly. That wasn't the same recently when I went to a new place for a massage -- It was a level 3 or 4 therapeutic massage and ouuuuch, my shoulders and neck were killing after. Nothing relaxing about it, but I'm realizing that I wasn't focusing on my breathing as I was too focused on the dayum that hurts, stop that now aspect. Needless to say, I realized I like the Level 2 therapeutic massages a lot more and didn't sign up for another one there.

Meditation -- I can inhale and exhale quite normally then, or at least I don't focus on it, probably because I don't have someone else's hands on me then. All I have to do then is listen to Andy's awesome British accent through the Headspace app (check it out if you haven't). Very, very relaxing.

Inhale. Exhale. Breathe in calm. Breathe out the bullshit. If you need pot to do so, do it.