People be Crazy & Amazingly Forward

I'm about to date myself a bit here, but the last time I was dating (been married for a while now) the Internet was only just taking off and I seem to remember that cell phones were just used for calls then. No texting nor FB messaging nor camera phones.

No, I didn't date in the 50s, but sometimes I feel like I really did when I hear tales from friends of what's going on out there in this strange new world of dating or hooking up.

A friend (young guy in his late 20s) has been regaling a group of us (we all think of each other as family -- he's like our younger brother) with the tales of the crazy women he has encountered. What he said today however took the cake. I was speechless for a few minutes -- which is a rarity!

He said that girls he doesn't even know/has never met nor spoken to before message him asking him for sex. What?? I'm sorry. What?? This is a thing? Wtf, kids?

One girl messaged him for the first time ever complimenting his eyes in his profile pic and said that he better get over there before she dries up. Holy shit. I would have never, ever sent something like that to someone -- let alone someone I've never spoken to before.

The scariest thing is that this a pretty common occurrence, which means many girls are doing the same thing. Since this is something that's happening often, it makes me think girls are doing so because it has actually worked on other guys in the past. Ack.

I'm just baffled. And horrified for both genders, because I've of course seen the Tinder posts on Buzzfeed where a guy asks a woman for sex in his first contact with her or sends a dick pic to her without her request. So yes, it's both genders that are being just insanely rude.

What the ever-loving fuck, people? Find some class. Maybe these antics will get you a one-night stand, but I can't imagine it will ever lead to a lasting relationship. Wise up (and wow -- I'm sounding ancient here. Is "Get off my lawn" next??).

But kids, find some self-confidence and stop hitting full-throttle on anyone you come across. Not cool.

Trickedoo for Sons of Anarchy Fans

Seriously? People are crazed to find out how "Sons of Anarchy" is going to end as a series and ideas are swirling.

Well, not for everyone. The creators of the show put biiiig tidbits about the series finale into a book, which was then released a bit earlier than planned. Namely, before the series finale aired.

Holy fuck. That's quite a mistake. The show's creator, Kurt Sutter, has said that heads will roll over the incompetence, but he also takes responsibility since the book and the information in it was his idea. Gotta appreciate that.

Now, I've never seen the show -- screenshots of Charlie Hunnam's ass notwithstanding -- so I don't care if I learn about the series finale spoiler details or not. But for those who have watched the show for years... Maybe stay offline til the finale airs. Because that's doable, right?

Sexy Mother Pucker

Okay, you got me, Sephora. Sending me your latest email advertisement and putting Sexy Mother Pucker XL Extreme-Plump Collagen Lip Shine right in the middle of it did indeed catch my eye.

One, because I'm a 12 year old boy at heart and Sexy Mother Pucker is funny.

Two, because we all know that when guys think of big plump lips, they think of blow jobs -- and well, that's always fun and hot.

Well played, Sephora. Although telling me it should be a gift for my "superb sister" might not be the case. I'm thinking I want that for me.

Yoo hoo, Santa baby...

A Leap of Fun

Part of my sex toy biz is hosting parties to demo the products -- no, not porn. I'm not demo'ing them on myself nor others, despite what some may think. I just hold up the products, turn on the products that are turn-on'able and show them off.

Anyhoo, some of these parties are FB events. And for those I record videos in advance so I'm not pulling out the toys and talking about them while my son is in the house. Wee bit illegal that.

Well, for a party tonight, I dug out a bullet from my bag that has a wired control to it. I had heard rave, rave, rave reviews about this product but hadn't tried it nor ever turned it on. So on the video, I turned on the bullet and it is so powerful that it literally leapt out of my hand. Holy shit. That is power right there.

Yeaaah, I'll be raving about that product at parties now. Yowza. And it absolutely scored on the nose test -- where you see how a vibrator would feel on your clit or on your partner's shaft by placing it against the tip of your nose. Total wow factor.

A 15-Minute Orgasm from Marijuana

Despite having this blog, I am pretty straight-laced. Have never even smoked a cigarette, let alone marijuana -- yes, y'all can start singing "Look At Me. I'm Sandra Dee" now. Go ahead.

But with that said, my buddy Ginger directed me to an article today about a lubricant made from marijuana, which has been shown to cause a 15-minute long continuous orgasm. Hmm. Mmmm. Sorry -- was in daydream mode for a second there.

It's funny because when I think of someone taking marijuana -- and this is based entirely on movies -- I think of laid-back lackadaisical people who are in rush to do anything. And y'all have heard of (or experienced) alcohol dick, right? Aka the inability to get it up when one is plastered? Yeah, I kind of just assumed it was the same thing when one takes marijuana.

But, based on this article, maybe I'm wrong. Not that I'm going to take up smoking marijuana, but this marijuana lubricant sounds all kinds of interesting. Sadly, it's only currently available to medical marijuana patients in California. Make that accessible nation-wide now. Please.

Sex Ed and Sex Toys 101

I recently became an Athena's Goddess. Part of that involves training -- the first part is on business basics and the second is on product info, which involves quite a bit of sex ed. And wow, pretty sure I could teach a sex ed class now. Informative stuff here, kids.

But first, two very important pieces of wisdom I want to impart to you re: sex toys:

• Using a waterproof toy in the shower/bath? Make sure you turn the toy on and off when you are outside of the water. Doing that forms a seal in the toy so water won't get in and ruin the battery and the toy itself. No one wants that, right? 
• Along the same lines about batteries -- if you have a sex toy that contains batteries in your house right now (and you should ;) ), take the batteries out of that mofo right now. Seriously, right now. The batteries last much longer when they're not kept inside the toy all the time and you don't run the risk of the battery going bad and leaking battery acid. I'll give you a second to recover from that mental image of going to use a toy and getting battery acid on your genitals or your partner's. Ack. Remove those batteries now.

Interestingly, the most common thing I've heard when people know I work for Athena's is that Athena's toys are only for "lonely women" and that "women in relationships don't need sex toys". To that I say "Oh, honey..."

Sure, these sex toys can and are being used by women not in relationships, but it is so, so, so hot to use the toys with your partner. Boys, just think about your girlfriend or wife putting a vibrator against your shaft while she's giving you a blow job. Your shaft has 20 nerve endings (while a clitoris has 6,000 -- dayum), but every single one of them will be hit with a combo of a vibrator against the shaft while your significant other's lips, tongue and hand works as well. Bam. 

We also sell "Good Head" mints in both mint (cool) and cinnamon (warm). Buy both and try them out right after the other for one hell of a blow job combination. Your senses won't know what hit them. Although you might hit the ceiling -- in a good way. 

And boys, don't feel insecure by the vibrators. They're not going to replace you -- hold one against your significant other's clitoris while you're thrusting, or hold her against her nipples while you're going down on her. Trust me, she'll thank you. 

RI Comic Con: Disorganized Chaos, but Fun

Attended my first ever Comic Con yesterday -- Rhode Island Comic Con 2014. Originally, we were going to go both days and stay overnight at a nearby hotel Saturday night, so we bought Weekend Passes (not to be confused with "Freebie" marriage hall passes).

But we thought about it and cancelled the hotel reservation and planned to go just one day and that was quite enough for us. We didn't plan to attend any of the talks/sessions. Just wanted to see the celebs; get my picture taken with the 6th Doctor, Colin Baker; pick up some wrestling figures (our son's interest) and meet some wrestling celebs (again, son's request). Figured that could all fit into a day, if not a few hours.

Arrived at the Convention Center around 11:30 or so. The road that the Con was on -- Sabin Street -- was jam-packed with cars, so we parked in a nearby parking lot for local restaurants, which don't open until dinner, so that worked out quite well. Walked up a flight of stairs, down the street and poor, we were at the Convention Center. That turned out to be a very wise choice considering people were complaining later about parking at the Convention Center. We did get a bit soaked walking back to our car after, but we easily got out, so fine by me. And it was $13 for 3 hours -- a pittance compared to what it could have been.

We saw a huge line of people waiting to get in, but thought they hadn't bought tickets, so I walked straight up to the door -- and was told there was a line and to go to the end of it. Went to walk to the line around the corner when a worker came out and said that if anyone had Weekend Passes, they could enter. Sweet! So, we walked right in.

Waited in a very small line for Weekend Pass holders, and then handed our tickets to the workers there. Shockingly, they didn't scan them nor even look at them. They just took the tickets and tossed them into a trash bag and then put a paper bracelet on our wrists. Ookay.

Security consisted of making sure we had bracelets on -- no bag check. And then joining the masses going up the escalator. Once we got upstairs, there was one big cluster of people all heading towards the main convention rooms, so we followed the crowd. I'm not a big fan of crowds at all, so these crowds really tested my patience but I dealt with it. Was shocked that our son was completely fine with it -- I guess he had his mind set on getting more wrestling figures and meeting wrestlers, and nothing was getting past that. Impressive kid.

Once in the convention room, it was a mad house. Holy shit. The most people I've seen in one place in a long time and everyone was trying to get into all directions at the same time all at once. Yikes. My son's laser focus saw some wrestling figures, so we made our way over there. But he had those figures. So we walked on some more. We found an AJ Lee figure that he didn't have and purchased that and then found a John Cena figure.

As I had to head to my photo op with Colin Baker, we thought we would first locate the wrestlers. First spotted was Rob Van Dam and my son and husband had their picture taken with him after waiting behind just one person. As we turned around in the crowd, we saw Mick Foley sitting at his table with no one in front of him at that moment. So I walked up with my son and said hi and asked if we could take a picture. He said sure, but that there was a line. Oops. I had missed that part -- by walking up to the table, I had just cut off about 50 people waiting in line. Only me. Ha! We walked to the end of the line, and they got in line and I headed off to the photo op.

The photo op was on the upper level, so I took two escalators up -- one larger and then a mini one. The larger one was a debacle. Each time I was on it, the people just stopped completely short after stepping off the escalator, causing us all to smush up against each other. And the second time, there was a Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn in front of me and a girl and her mother in front of them. Just as we got to the top, I glanced down and saw that the girl's shoelace had come undone. (Anyone else just have a horror movie moment go through their head?) Somehow, and I still have no idea how, that dangling shoelace did not get caught in the escalator. Amazing because that was so dangerous.

Once upstairs, I saw a couple of lines, but no signs (par for the course here). After looking around, I spotted a guy dressed like the 6th Doctor at the end of a line. I went up to him and asked if by chance he was in the Colin Baker photo op line. He said he was and that it was just one big line for all of the 4 photo ops around that time. Yup, disorganized. So I waited behind him and took a selfie with the dude and listened to a band play "Star Wars" songs, while the guitarist kept walking over and smiling at me. Lesson learned: If you're a female and are reasonably cute and smile at the guys at Comic Con, you're a hot commodity.

Side note: I truly am a people person. I smile and talk to people and am interested in everyone I talk to, and to some, that comes across as flirting. It's not. And of course, it's something I learned after I got married. Murphy's Law. :)

Back to the photo op. Completely crazy mob scene. At one point, the one line became three lines that interconnected. They called Colin Baker's name for photos and I followed my 6th Doctor line buddy into the meeting room section. There was just one person ahead of us for the photo op and it was over quicker than anything else I've ever encountered. I stopped at the entrance to the room; the volunteer checked my ticket (e-ticket); and then I walked up to a line on the floor; saw my line buddy get his pic taken; walked up to Colin Baker; he shook my hand, said it was nice to meet such a young lady; put his arm around my shoulder; they snapped the pic; and I was walking out of the room. My very fleeting brush with fame. :) Then, I heard the pics would be ready in about 35 min on a table around the corner. Okay.

Called my husband to see where they were. In about 15 minutes, the line they were in to meet Mick Foley hadn't moved an inch, so they gave up and just walked around. I met up with them and we bought another wrestling figure and eyeballed the various celebs as we walked by, but couldn't really stop even if we wanted to as it was wall-to-wall people again going in all directions at once.

We decided after a while to head back upstairs to pick up my photo and then skedaddle. I went back into the meeting room area (and chatted with my line buddy who I found waiting for pics as well) about how disorganized this all was and how Boston Comic Con was better. Noted. The pics that were supposed to be done in 35 minutes instead took an hour. Eep. But I chatted with two other people while waiting -- one who needed to grab a train at 3 and hoped her pic would be ready by then, and one who was telling me about how Temple Con was much better and that I should check that one out. I couldn't tell if this person was flirting with me or not. It seemed that way, but I could be wrong.

Once I got my pic, I re-met up with my husband and son and we left, noticing that people were still lined up outside and that no one was being let in. I thought that was weird, and later found out that the show had been over sold and they weren't allowing people in due to capacity requirements. Understandable, because it was crazy enough as it was -- if a fire had broken out, we all would have been dead because there's no way anyone would have been able to move.

Did I have fun? Yes. Would I attend another one? Probably not unless it was organized a lot better.