Ben the Bachelor - Episode 2

Wasn't sure if I'd be putting this up as I've done a lot of work writing today, but apparently this also wanted to be written, so I'm getting it out.

Week 2 of Ben the Bachelor. Refer here for my thoughts on the first episode.

The second episode is typically when we start to see personalities, and ohhh, baby, did we EVER start to see personalities. And some of those personalities were supposed to be hidden. Yowza.

First, Ben. Last week, I called him a pup and I'm still sticking with that. He's still so, so, sooo young. However, he was cuter this week and then on the after-show, they had footage of him in a shower. <insert jaw drop here> Wow. Nice. I'm a big fan of showers in general (and I'll wisely leave the rest there to the readers imagination) and Ben in a shower did not disappoint. Okay, it's official. I get it. Funny how in a suit or clothes he's just okay, but show him wet in a shower and I'm drooling. Yeah, that makes sense.

The High School Date: Wow. Just wow. The innuendo was blowing up right along with that volcano, and it was awesome. Sure, producers, make it so the girls have to basically make out by passing an apple to each other with their mouths. I think Ben's volcano probably burst right then and there. ;) I can't say a thing about the geography part because I'm the worst at that. I'd like to think I would have been fine with the volcano and the apple bobbing and possibly the free throws, if our basketball hoop here is any indication. The track, though with the hurdles? Oh, hell, no. I would have tripped over the first one and busted an ankle. Nope, nope, nope. Becca impressed me again with the easy shots she made while she was talking to Ben after. Well played!

Now for the ladies.

Lace: Honey, you're continuing to get the "Oh, honey" with the head shake from me. I feel awful for you having to watch this weeks/months after it was filmed, but yikes. When you say "I'm not crazy", it's pretty much known code for "I'm about to show you just how flipping crazy I am" and that you did. Darlin, you were not even remotely eye-fucking Ben. That was just normal eye contact. Please, please, please get a clue. And stop being pissed that you get interrupted when you're talking to Ben when you're doing the same thing. The look on Ben's face after he gave you the rose pretty much showed that the producers told him he needs to keep you on. Ees noooot okay.

Caila: Such a good sport for that "Ride Along" date with Ice Cube and Kevin Hart. The hot tub would have been hot, if it were not it being in the middle of a store (???) and for also having your buddy Kevin Hart there, too. I doubt highly that he was naked in the hot tub despite the black bar when he got out, but great job reacting to it as if it were so. You're still on my watch list, though, with the whole "broke up with your boyfriend when you saw Ben on TV" back story.

Olivia: You're getting dangerously close to an "Oh, honey..." This is the first date, so you all have been in the house for just a few days. This is not the time to decide you're "winning" (and oh lord, please do not pull a Courtney and start singing "I've got the roooooosssee" next) and that Ben is yours and the whole show should just be over. That's not how this works. That's not how any of this works. If you don't win a la Courtney, you're being set up to look like the "evil" one and no one wants that. Rein it in.

Amber: You've been on various iterations of this show 3 times now, yes? Chris' season, then Bachelor in Paradise and now Ben's season. You know what the show is about. So, why on earth are you just sitting there whining about how you haven't had any time with Ben and haven't had any chance to talk to him? Get up from that couch and go find him and talk to him. Stop it.

No one else really stood out to me this week. I thought the present of a picture that Ben gave to Lauren B was adorable and very sweet, and showed he was thinking about her -- until he then gave the one who caused the volcano to explode the highest a ribbon and then made barrettes with Amanda for her daughters. We get it, Ben, you're the sweetest, but again it's only the first week. Far too early for these presents.

I already mentioned the after show with the shower scene, but also need to mention Kris Jenner being on it. I grimaced when I saw she was on, but dammit, show! You actually made her seem like a fun person. What the hell?