Alexander Skarsgard and a Guy on Guy Sex Scene

Spoilers, spoilers, spoilers for last night's episode of "True Blood".

Haven't watched the episode yet, but caught this post on Buzzfeed this morning about a surprising and hot gay sex scene in the show last night, complete with animated gifs.

Apparently, Jason Stackhouse (played by the hot Ryan Kwanten) had a very, very vivid and hot sex dream about Eric Northman (my dream celeb guy, Alexander Skarsgard) because he had imbibed some of Eric's blood last season.

And looking at these gifs, all I can say is bloody hell, it's hot.

In the past, I've always been quite fine with guy-on-girl sex scenes and girl-on-girl sex scenes in movies, TV shows, and porn (yes, I've watched porn -- most people have ;) ). But guy-on-guy sex scenes never interested me at all. Nothing against it. Just not my thing. Well, after seeing this, I change my mind. Dayum. I guess guy-on-guy scenes are quite fine for me when the guys are both spectacularly hot. ;)

Can't wait to watch the episode now.

Frederick's: You're Being a Clinger...

Oh, Frederick's of Hollywood, we have to talk...

I know I bought 2 or 3 items from your emails for a photo shoot I did some months back, and yes, I loved them. How could I not?

But since then you've been sending me emails every day -- with pics of your tantalizing negligees, bra and panty sets; and dresses -- and offering me free shipping if I come back; or information on the latest clearance sales; or a free pair of Stars & Stripes underwear (which honestly, look like they'd make for part of an awesome Wonder Woman-like outfit...) if I buy $75 of your product.

I see your emails come in and I do click (which is probably why you keep sending them. I'm a click tease ;) ) to see what the latest offer is, but I'm not buying anything else right now.

It's not you. It's me, Frederick's. I'll come back to you and buy more at some point, but not right now.

Kisses.

Lessons for My Younger Self

With my 20th college reunion now behind me and a 25th high school reunion next year, I find myself thinking of the past and ways I'd change it if I could. Side note: I wouldn't change a thing because everything brought me to where I am today and my spouse and son, but still -- if I could and it wouldn't change a thing about today... Here's what I'd change:

- Be more outgoing and confident. I was a timid shy little mouse of a mouse back in high school and was convinced that I was the most boring person on the planet, so I spent pretty much every night after school in my room reading when I wasn't working. Yeah, that's a lonely existence and I don't recommend it. I'd tell my past self to look people in the eye, say "hi" and strike up a conversation.

- Ironically, I wanted no attention at all, but I wore clothes that screamed for attention -- like a white t-shirt with the song lyric of "Don't worry, be happy!" on it -- or wearing a sparkly green hat to school on Saint Patrick's Day -- and then I was surprised and horrified when people commented on it. Although that "Don't worry, be happy" shirt did get a comment from a guy I had a crush on at the time. He saw the shirt, smiled and said "Okay, I will". I believe my response was to blush like a fool, stammer out heaven knows what, and look away. Yeah, that was awesome. Cringing at the thought.

- In that same vein, wear comfortable, stylish clothes. I was so all over the place style-wise. In high school, there was a white ruffled blouse and prairie skirt (wish I was kidding!) one day to that shirt above and a black skirt the next. And yet, inside, I felt the most comfortable in classic clothes --while being attracted to the skater boys. Dichotomy, much?

- Oh, honey, tame those eyebrows. Really? And bangs are sooo your friend. Perms are not. Just no. Step away from the perm solution. Begging ya here.

- Boys really aren't as scary as you thought back then. They really are just humans like you. Talk to one. Heck, you might make a friend or get a date -- or in the best case scenario, both.

- The biggest advice I could give my younger self is that everyone has their own issues and everyone's nervous about something or thinks they're not liked. It's normal. Talking to people long after high school, I've learned that now. And found out that quite a few people thought I was awesome and so nice back then - these are all women that I thought were too "above me" for me to befriend or hell even speak to back on high school. I was a fool. :)

The Trouble with Soulmates

The term "soulmate" gets bandied around so, so often, but is it really a true concept? Or is it setting people up for disappointment and heartache?

I have a couple of problems with the term:
- You supposedly have just one soulmate. Okay, great, you've met your soulmate. Fantastic. Excellent. But what if that person dies young or you guys just don't work out as a couple? So that's it? You're now doomed to unhappiness because that person was your one soulmate in the world? That's depressing!
- And what determines a soulmate? That you like the same things? That you feel the same way about things? That you think alike?

With that latter one, my first issue with it is that as people grow up, they learn what they like and what they don't like -- and if you're like me in my very self-conscious early dating days, you'll say you like something the other person likes to make them happy and think that will make them like you more, even if you don't. Note: I so don't recommend this.

"Oh, you like sailing? I loooove sailing!!"
"Oh, you like heavy metal music. I'm such a fan of Metallica!"
"Oh, you want to be a clown? I love clowns!!"

Okay, so that last one would never, ever happen (I loathe clowns), but the first two very much did happen. I don't love sailing -- I get seasick quite easily, and only thanks to seasickness pills do I do okay with it. Heavy metal music -- okay, I did grow to love some of it (a la "Enter the Sandman"), but most of it is just kind of noise to me.

Want to know what I love? I love --in no particular order:

• Cheesy romantic songs from the 70s. Barry Manilow or some "Silly Love Songs"? I swoon.
• Sci-fi shows like "Doctor Who"
• Psychological thriller books
• Action movies like "Die Hard" (Yippee ki yay...)
• Sappy romantic movies like "Love, Actually" and "Sleepless in Seattle"
• Italian food -- okay, semi-Italian food like Olive Garden
• French Vanilla coffee extra extra from Dunkin Donuts

My list there could go on and on, but that's just part of what makes me "me". Do I want someone who loves every single one of those things, too? Actually, no, because I'd get bored and wouldn't learn about anything new that I might also like.

When I was in college, my dream was to become an English professor and marry an English professor and live near a college campus and sit by the fire each night talking about books. That's not quite what happened. I didn't wind up teaching and married a great guy who got me hooked on Huey Lewis (heck, our first dance song was "World to Me") and introduced me to watching WWE wrestling -- which caused me to realize I'd been missing out on watching hot, muscular guys in speedos. Yum. 

So, soulmates. I personally think there are a bunch of soulmates out there for everyone, and usually they're the people you wind up being great friends with. They could also wind up being a lover or a spouse, but there isn't just one.

Bowie and that Bulge in Labyrinth

Ah, David Bowie in "Labyrinth". How I longed to be Jennifer Connolly playing that role against him -- dancing and swaying with him, falling under his spell as well as the spell of those tight, tight leggings he wore. Mmmm. Those leggings. That bulge. I swooned.

While researching this topic, I discovered there is a Tumblr devoted to David Bowie's crotch. Well, I've found my new favorite time-waster. ;)

But, my bulge innocence has been shattered. According to Buzzfeed, Bowie's bulge was intentionally created by their designer. The hell? That is not okay. That was a majestic bulge displayed by Bowie as Jareth, the Goblin King. It can't be false -- that's like saying Santa doesn't exist. (Yes, I know. Don't worry.)

Sorry, but this woman is going to remain steadfast in her belief that that bulge was all Bowie. It's not like I'm ever going to meet him and find out otherwise, right? Let a girl dream.

And speaking of dreams -- David Bowie as Jareth starring in 50 Shades of Gray? Great dream. ;)

Do People Still Date?

Still horrified by a Glamour magazine article I read, which stated that 70% of single women don't know if they've been on a real date in the last year. What?? I'm sorry. What!?!

I'm baffled. How do you not know if you're on a date? Has dating become so lazy that it might be that you're on a date or you might just be hanging out with a bud? There is a difference and it's an important one and leads to far less confusion for both parties.

It got me thinking about my dating life -- and every bit of this was before the Internet was what it is today (I'm old. I'm not that old -- met my spouse when I was 23 and have been with him ever since -- but sometimes like this I feel old LOL ). And I can assure you that every date I had was an honest to God real date.

High School:
-  Hahahaha. I was such the shy mouse back in high school and had a grand total of 3 dates in high school. Two of which were guys I worked with at good ol' Bradlees and one was a set-up for the senior prom. Anyhoo, it was clear each was a date. The first was a date to the County Fair; the second was dinner and a movie (to see "Turner and Hooch". I cried at the end when the dog died -- sorry for the decades-old spoiler there ;) -- and my date laughed at that scene. Heeelllll, no to a second date). And the third we won't discuss because it was a sympathy set-up. Ouch.

College:
- Even in college, when I was on a date, I knew. Freshman year, a guy took me out to dinner and a movie (that Meryl Streep one -- "Postcards from the Edge") and then in later college years, I had other dates of dinner and a movie; or bowling; or just a movie. But they were all definitive dates. Were there random makeouts at parties and the like? Of course. I'm human. :) But those weren't dates and that was fine and dandy.

Post-college:
- The first guy I dated after college was someone I met out at a club. He came to my house; brought flowers (coral roses, from what I recall) and we went out to dinner and to see an a Capella group perform (and then made out in a park). Absolutely a date. No question. We continued to date for a while and each date was a date. After him, there were a number of first dates and each one was a date (dinner or going out to play pool or going to a movie -- just the two of us). When I met my now-spouse, our first date was to dinner and then to see the movie "Copycat". After that, we did more movies or went to Fanueil Hall to roam around together or rented movies or played pool.

So yeah, I'm baffled. What is going on now that 70% of single women do not know that they've been on a date in the last year? I'd say if you have to ask, then you weren't. But I also know how times have changed (man, I feel the need to yell "Get off my lawn" <-- Old!!) and that texting and setting and Skype and the Internet have all changed the dating game, making meeting someone that much easier and making hooking up other much easier. And honestly, I think it's a shame.

Everyone deserves to be woo'ed and to go out on an actual date. Let's bring back actually dating. No more just meet at a bar/club and have sex. Stop. Actually date someone. Get to know them. It's fun. Seriously.

Michael Douglas is the Man

Was reading some magazine recently (I want to say it was "People") and there was an article with Michael Douglas. In it, he talked about how he and Catherine Zeta Jones were working on their marriage and he said something that I've been thinking about ever since.... A paraphrased version is below,

Basically, what it comes down to is that marriage is like a flower. If you tend to it and pay attention to it and water it with affection, it blooms and grows. BUT, if you don't pay attention to it and neglect it, it withers away and will die.

Dayum. Just dayum.

It really spoke to me, and I hope it speaks to all of you, too and gives you some food for thought, if needed.

I know I've been there before. With the day-to-day busy-ness of life, it's so easy to not pay attention to one's marriage and just focus on anything else. But when you do that, you wind up feeling like you have a roommate instead of a spouse and who the heck wants that?

Full disclosure -- I have absolutely been there and my spouse and I went to marriage counseling a couple of years back because we weren't talking/hanging out and spending time together as much as we should have. So I felt lonely and like I just had a roommate instead of a spouse. Wasn't fun, but I fully appreciate my spouse's willingness to go to counseling when I asked.

I can't say the counseling itself was really helpful, but going there together DID help us because we wound up laughing together and well, mocking some of the advice the counselor gave us. Pretty sure
that was so not his intent, but hey, it sure did bring us back together because we remembered how much fun we had together and got us talking and laughing together again, which led to hanging out more and spending time in each other's company instead of watching TV in separate rooms at night. And that was the most important thing -- we started paying more attention to each other instead of not doing so, which made all the difference.

So, yes, I fully agree with Michael Douglas. Pay attention to the flower of your marriage and don't neglect it.

True Blood is Back. Give me a Hell, Yeah!

Y'all have seen my post on Alexander Skarsgard, who I so erroneously left off my celeb freebie list that he gets a freebie list of his very own. Well, if you don't know, he plays Eric Northman on a little show called "True Blood".

His role on this season (the last season of the show) is questionable considering that his last scene on last season was him stretched out nude (yes, full-frontal Skarsgard -- the Internet exploded that day) on a snowy mountain when his ability to be in the sun without burning up ceased. Oopsie. Here's hoping he did survive because that would be quite a loss.

However, there's still plenty of eye candy left, including Joe Manganiello, who's also well-known for his role as a stripper in "Magic Mike" and lots and lots and lots (did I mention lots ?) of sex and nudity.

So, a big thanks to the spouse for re-adding HBO to our cable line up, so we can watch this season of "True Blood" starting tonight. :)

Holy Strange Sex Dream

My dreams are always quite vivid -- and last night's was no exception.

In the dream, my spouse and I decided to make some extra money by working as escorts (not in the life plan that I'm aware of ;) ) at a no-clothing-allowed hot tub/pool resort. This all made perfect sense in the dream.

We first had to pass a test on our skills -- my spouse had to seduce Catherine Zeta-Jones and did so quite well. I had to be able to seduce both sexes, which required me seducing a young Kathleen Turner and Steve Carrell. Okay. Not too surprisingly, all the guys who worked there came into the room to watch while I was giving Kathleen Turner a front and back massage. She loved it. And we were both hired.

Jealousies flared when my spouse and one of the female escorts, who looked like Tatiana Maslany, got a little too friendly (can't say I blame him. She's hot) and they wound up together and he asked me for a divorce. Ouch! I responded by flirting with Paul Rudd (yummy -- have y'all seen the pic of his abs? Dayum.) and wound up having sex with him in the dream. Hilarious how, even in dreams, I only have sex with other guys when I'm single. Dammit, morals. But, also, thank you, morals. :)

Great dream. Hmm, potential business idea there to create -- in somewhere like Nevada where the Bunny Ranch is legal.

On Becoming a Sasquatch

Okay, not really.

But it's finally warm out here, which for me means shorts; short skirts; and dresses as my wardrobe --well, the lower half of my wardrobe. Not just roaming around in shorts or a skirt with no top. Haven't quite gotten into the walk around topless and post those nipples on Instagram uproar. More power to those who do, but not for me. ;)

Anyway, those shorts and short skirts mean shaving my legs daily. Because one does not want to be au natural and not shave at all (not my style --give me my razor or give me death!). Plus, please, honey, I wear contact and my hair is highlighted. Pretty sure I left natural a long while back.

It would be so much easier though if I didn't have to shave every single day, but I also love the feel of my legs being super smooth and hairless. Feels more like summer to me.

Haven't tried the whole Nair thing because with my luck, I'd have a reaction to it and wind up with a blazing red leg for the summer. Pretty sure that's not hot. Just no.

So, in the name of my own vanity, I'll keep on shaving. No need to look out for a Sasquatch up this way.

Celeb Freebie List: The Missing Person

Ooh, this is embarrassing. I just remembered who was missing from my Celeb Freebie List post. And wow, that's such a mistake that this man deserves his own post. Because dayum. Just dayum.

My dear readers, if you haven't seen "True Blood", you need to do so. Sex scenes and naked men and women all over the place. And my main reason for watching -- Mr. Eric Northman, portrayed by the mighty fine Alexander Skarsgard.

Now, I typically go for dark-haired guys, but an exception would absolutely be made for Monsieur Skarsgard. I wasn't too into him in the first season when he had the long hair, but when he cut it and started wearing sharp suits? Come to mama. (Yes, there's a pic of him in said suit there. Pardon the drool.)

The man has it going on. He's tall; built; has a great ass and those arms (I have a bit of a thing for muscular arms). Just yummy.

So, my apologies to Alexander Skarsgard for leaving him off the list before. You're back on your own list -- and this one is laminated.

Thong or Today's Torture Device

Oh, thongs. I get your appeal -- hell, there's a whole song devoted to you. (And whilst looking for "Thong Song" on YouTube, I found out that "Glee" did a version of it. Alrighty? How the hell do I not remember that?)

Anyhoo, yes, thongs, I understand. You remove the awful idea of the VPL (visible panty lines). Can't have that. And some women love to flaunt you while wearing low-cut jeans. I get it. You're hot. You're sexy. It's all good.

But, thong, why do you have to be so damn uncomfortable? Why? Why? Why? I love the idea of you. Seriously, I do. And I want to wear you, but comfort wins out (almost) every time. Yes, I know. I could go commando (and have), but there's just something about you, thong. I want to like you.

Maybe I've been trying the wrong brands? If there's a brand out there that is actually comfortable, gals, fill me in.

The subject of thongs came to me when I was reading E! Online today and noticed this article about a C-String. It's a thong without the side parts to it. Yup, let that sink in for a minute. There are no sides to this thong.

How on earth would that stay on, then? I'm sure I'm not the only one who read the article and immediately thought it was some kind of vibrator/dildo.

But, no, that's not the case. Instead it's a hard but flexible material in the back and just stays put in between your cheeks. Can't say I'm getting that idea because I know I'd be the fool who would try it and instantly have it fall to the floor during a meeting or something. No, no, no.

WWE and Playboy Mags

Ohh, the joys of being a mom...

Was just looking through Amazon with the little guy (okay, not so little -- he turns 12 this summer) at potential items he wants to add to his wishlist for his birthday. After going through and adding an XBox One; a PlayStation 3 and a PlayStation Vita (keep dreaming, dude) -- he went to look at the books they had on the WWE, since he loves watching and learning about wrestling.

Scrolling down the page, and all was fine and normal. There were biographies of John Cena; guide books for how to play wrestling video games; issues of "Playboy" that featured divas... Wait. What?? Insert screeching record noise here.

Well, that was new. I scrolled past and briefly mentioned it that Playboy is a magazine that features women not wearing clothes, so yeah, not adding that to the wish list. Yeah, because that wouldn't interest an almost 12-year old boy, right? Head smack.

Of course, then he wanted to keep scrolling to see if any other Playboy mags came up in the WWE books section and was cracking up laughing about it. I guess that's good that he was laughing and not all quiet -- and I know he's at that age where "the talk" will be happening soon (hell, my good friend Ginger had that talk with her kids today), but dayum, I'm not ready.

To me, my little guy is still my little guy. No, no, no to any interest in Playboy mags and the like. I'm feeling a bit like Scarlett O'Hara thinking "la di dah, tomorrow is another day". That's okay, right? :)

So Light 'Em Up!

Heard Fall Out Boy's "My Songs Know What You Did In the Dark" tonight while I was in the car. I of course cranked the volume up because I love the beats of that song --just gets to me. Love it.

While I was listening to it, I was thinking of the lyrics of "My songs know what you did in the dark, so light 'em up!" and it made me think about sex. Okay, what doesn't? ;) But hear me out, here.

In my early days of sex, the darkness was my BFF. The thought of my partner looking at and seeing me in all my nakedness during sex? Any jiggly bits would be revealed. Gaaah. Noooo. Can't have that. Darkness with just one light on far across the room was my go-to.

But then this little thing called self-confidence hit and screw knowing what you did in the dark. I want all the lights on. Let there be light and absolutely light 'em up. It's funny/ironic because I probably weigh about the same as the first time I ever had sex, and there have been weight losses and gains (far too many to count of both) since then, but as I became older, the self-confidence gets higher and higher.

And yes, it absolutely helps that my partner thinks I'm the hottest thing on the planet -- and if he doesn't think that, he's a way better actor than I pegged him for, so I believe him. But it's also me. I believe I'm hot, so I want to flaunt that -- and why shouldn't I? Self-confidence is hot. Period.

Whatever you need to do or think or tell yourself, find a way to gain self-confidence if you don't already have it in spades, because let me tell you, once you feel like you're great, you won't stand for anyone who tries to make you think or feel otherwise. And that's important.

Plus, self-confidence is sexy. Let those lights shine; wear your slinkiest negligee, girls, or nothing at all -- or hell, try on some outfits and role-play (will cover that in another blog) -- and know you're rocking it.

Stop being in the darkness. Light 'em up!

Bulges and Boobs

Since my most-popular post so far was on the topic of bulges, figured I'd keep that trend going, but would make it applicable with some advice for both:

Men:
- If you have a bulge to be proud of, don't hide it. Now I'm not saying you should start walking around the beach in one-sided thong Speedos (please, please, please don't. I don't want to be responsible for that gracing the local shorelines), but wear more form-fitting pants or sports shorts and go Commando from time to time. Don't be shy. You've got it, so flaunt it.

Ladies:
- Camel toe. Don't do it. Need I really say more? Didn't think so.

As for boobs, now that's a whole different story. I tend to veer towards shirts that highlight cleavage -not that there's really any other kind for me. ;)

Ladies:
Be proud of your boobs, girls. Show 'em off. Tastefully, of course. But do. And find the right bra -- or "over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder" (and thank you, "Beaches", for that...)

Men:
- There's this trend I've been seeing of very low v-neck tee-shirts for guys. Fellas, if you don't work out regularly, or have man-boobs, please don't sport these. It's just not attractive.

Summer Lovin', Had Me a Blast...

Apologies to all of you singing that song from "Grease" right now. But I was thinking of that song today and I wondered -- is "Summer lovin'" even possible anymore at our age (ahem --very early 40s, but could and do easily pass for mid-30s)?

My friend Ginger (will link to her blog when trying to visit stops crashing Firefox on me) mentioned a "Summer fling" in her most recent blog -- and I should add that she's entirely faithful to her man and isn't having one. She was just discussing the concept.

Any hoo, Summer flings? Am I just much older than I feel or is that just not done at our age. Seems more of a high school/college thing to me where you meet someone over the summer, but then leave each other behind to go back to school and the fling is over.

For me, my summer fling as it where was the summer after college. It was kind of an unintentional summer fling, though. Met the boy at a bar (as one does); boy called the next day and showed up at my house with flowers (maybe coral roses?) to take me out to dinner. We met each others' parents -- quite easy as we lived with our parents as it was the summer after college. It was more of how it was than anything that symbolized the seriousness of the relationship. We dated for a few months, but then a job offer came up in NYC that he couldn't refuse in the family biz (no, he wasn't a mobster --bummer since I wanted to be a gun moll as a child. Did I mention I was an odd duck? Probably don't have to, now.)

I had no interest in moving to NYC --leave behind my family and friends? Surely, you jest! And long distance relationships don't work for me. We thought about it, but this was pre-Internet days, and cards and calls wound up being one-sided. So, that ended and that was my Summer fling.

These days, with kids and jobs and the like, I just don't get how a Summer fling would even be possible. Hmm, and here's where I add that I'm married, so I'm not looking for a fling of any kind anyway. But tell me -- am I wrong? Are Summer flings still a thing or are they "dust in the wind, dude"?

$100 Bill in the Parking Lot

What would you have done?

I just went to Target to finish up Father's Day shopping. As I got out of my car, I looked down and saw a $100 bill sitting there. I knew that I hadn't dropped it as I don't generally carry $100 bills around -- not quite how I roll.

Yes, of course I thought of picking it up, but I didn't. Told myself that if it was still there when I came back to my car, I'd think about it then.

Well, I came back to my car and the $100 was still there letting out a siren's song to be picked up. Aaaaaaack. It was tempting, let me tell you. So tempting.

But I left it there on the ground, got in my car and drove away.

WHAAT?!! I can hear you all screaming that as you read this. But I did leave it there.

If i had picked it up, I would have felt guilty (thank you, good ol' Catholic guilt) for using money that rightfully belonged to someone else and would have felt awful if the person came back looking for the money and it wasn't there because I had taken it and they really needed it.

I'm not swimming in money, but I didn't need that $100. It wasn't mine to take. Pure and simple as that.

Let's hope that incurs some great karma... And that the karma wasn't the $100 bill being there for me. LOL

So, dear readers, what would you have done?

Duuuude, That's Your Mom!

Ah, yes, I am talking about "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure". Love that movie. I saw it for the first time when it came out (I was 17) and went to go see it again in the theater just a few days later because I loved it so much. That's the only time I've seen a movie twice in a movie theater.

Now, I own the DVD and the CD (one of the great soundtracks of our time ;) ). Happened to catch that it was on Comedy Central today and called my son in to see the scene where Genghis Khan and crew destroy the San Dimas Mall. He, being an 11-year old, loved Genghis Khan decapitating a mannequin; taking out the security guards with a skateboard and using a mini-trampoline and said skateboard to get away. So, I showed him the DVD and we settled down to watch the full movie together.

Thankfully, the "Oedipal Complex" that Bill has on his step-mom totally flew over my son's head. Forgot about that plot. He was too busy hiding his eyes when Bill and Ted were flirting with the princesses. LOL

Besides the special effects being high-quality for the 80s and pretty horrific by today's standards, I still love this movie. Still find the guy who plays Billy the Kid insanely hot; still want my own time-travel phone booth; and still want Abe Lincoln to yell out "Be excellent to each other, and party on, dudes!" at the end of a school assembly (we'll ignore that I haven't been in school in oh, decades...)

Plus, George Carlin. I actually saw him perform his stand-up routine during my honeymoon, so I'll always have a special place in my heart for him. RIP, Mr. Carlin. You were awesome.

Do be excellent to each other, and always party on, dudes!

Boudoir Photos: Tips for a Great Experience

Talking about boudoir photo shoots today -- if you don't know what they are, think about it.

"Boudoir" = "Bedroom", but no, it's not photos of your bedroom. Please! How boring would that be? This is a bit more interesting in nature -- photos taken in various degrees of undress or in nothing at all. Photos meant for the bedroom, or wherever else you feel like taking or perusing them. Got it? ;)

I had the pleasure of having a boudoir photo shoot done a few months back and looooved the results. Those photos are just for my eyes and my husband's eyes (he loved them); and of course, a few select girlfriends, who also approved and all now want to have a boudoir photo shoot of their own done. And they should.

So, what do you need to know if you're considering a boudoir shoot?

• Find the right photographer. This part is crucial. I used the same photographer that my sister did when she had a photo shot done last year, so it was easy for me as this photographer came highly recommended by someone I trust explicitly. You want to hire a photographer who is easy to get along with; takes great photos; who you can trust; and in my case, I wanted a female photographer and someone who would make the photo shoot fun. And she absolutely did.
• Decide what you want to wear/how much you want to reveal. For me, I went with the rule of showing anything that could/would be shown in a bikini. I know many boudoir shots reveal it all, but I wasn't comfortable with that idea and knew I'd feel better going this way. The pictures were still hot as hell and I think were even more so because I didn't reveal everything/left something to mystery. 
• Bring 4-7 outfits with you. I brought 6 outfits with me and my photographer went through them with me when I got there and we talked about what would work the best. One of the outfits I wound up wearing was was a complete lark. I was having my hair and makeup done before the shoot, so I needed a button-down shirt, but didn't have any on-hand (button-down shirts are my enemy :D ), so I grabbed one of the chambray denim button-down shirts that my husband has and wore that over leggings for my hair/makeup appointment and to the studio. When I was talking to the photographer and going over outfits, we went with using that button-down shirt in a number of the shots and it was perfect. 
• Trust your photographer. If you hired the right photographer, that trust will come from the start, but it's never as important as when you're standing in your underwear or a negligee in front of a camera. I knew that my photographer had my best interests and the best photos in mind, and trusted her to get the lighting and and my poses just right to get the best. 
• HAVE FUN! This is also crucial. Have fun with it. You're most likely going to only do a boudoir shot once in your life, so make it a fun experience. I spent the entire time cracking up with my photographer and that comes across fully in the photos that I'm having a great time. You don't have to look serious to look sultry; there's also sexiness found in laughter and a big, confident smile. 

Wondering if you should have a boudoir photo shoot done? Stop wondering and do it. 

Now Your Baby's Dancing with Another Man...

Oh, Bruno Mars, we need to talk, hon. I just heard "When I Was Your Man" on the radio yet again, and there's a reason "your baby's now dancin' with another man". Seriously.

Let's see -- you realize after you guys broke up that you should have bought her flowers; should have taken her dancing; should have held her hand; should have given her all your hours.

This is pretty easy, Bruno. Basically, you should have paid her attention. I'm guessing that you spent your time when she was around not talking to her nor hanging out with her. Maybe you had your head in your phone or laptop instead because that seemed more important.

Probably seems a little less important now, eh?

Guys and girls alike, take heed. If you have someone you love, hold on to them, and pay attention to them. We don't really ask for much -- just to know that we're being listened to; have someone to talk to; and someone we can laugh with. It's really pretty simple, kids.

And if you don't do it now, that person will find someone who will appreciate everything you once had, and then you'll be singing about how your baby's dancin' with another man. No one wants that.

That Age Old Question: Can Men and Women be Just Friends?

Blame "When Harry Met Sally" for the thought that men and women can't be friends.

Is this really true, though? Can men and women never be friends without sex getting in the way?

I say they can. And here's why -- or should I say how it can work.


If either one is gay. If the man is gay and the woman is straight (and has no thoughts on trying to get him to change teams -- never works. Trust "Seinfeld" on this one, ladies), sex will never be a part of the friendship, so it's easy. If the woman is gay and the man is straight, it's the same -- and again, boys, don't try to change her sexual orientation. It won't happen. Stop dreaming. Just like trying to make "fetch" happen, this also won't happen.

If both are married. This can work IF both people are firmly committed to their spouses and have no interest in cheating/getting out of their marriage at all. Period.

If one is single and one is married. Playing with fire here, kids. Of course, it can work, if it's clear from the beginning you're just friends, but be careful since a problem could occur if the single person becomes interested in the married person (as a friend said recently when turning down a married guy that was hitting on her -- "I have no interest in playing in someone else's sandbox" -- wise words). And conversely, if the married person is friends with the single person because they're interested in them. Again, fire-playing. Burns. No good.

If both are single. This can work if neither finds the other attractive. If one finds the other attractive; but the second person doesn't feel the same, you're heading towards a lot of hurt feelings. Does anyone really want that? But you can also find each other attractive with the knowledge that it's never going to happen because you value your friendship too much. Men and women have different views on things and different experience that the other can find helpful and appreciate.

Men and women CAN be friends.You just need to be careful, but it can wind up being one of the best friendships of your life.

Book Review: "Desperate" by Daniel Palmer

Had the pleasure of meeting the author, Daniel Palmer at a book-signing event for Christopher a Golden. There were a number of local authors there talking about their books, and Palmer's sounded quite interesting, so I was considering checking it out.

While I was waiting in line to have Golden's book, "The Ferryman", signed, I was standing in front of Palmer's part of the table. He was talking to a fellow behind me and mentioned his worst book signing story was when a person wanted him to inscribe a book with "Happy Birthday" for a friend, so he did that and then thought to make it even more festive by drawing a balloon. However, he shortly realized that his balloon looked like sperm. So, he tried to add a bunch of balloons, resulting in what looked like a sea of swimming sperm. Horrified, he then went on to add a "Happy Birthday" banner and a cake, silently thinking that the person he was signing the book for was going to think he was a loon.

The story slayed me, so, of course, I had to pick up a copy of his hardcover book, Desperate, and asked him to sign it and add a balloon. He laughed and happily complied.

I finished reading "Desperate" last night -- or more specifically, this morning close to 1 a.m. and it is one hell of a thrill-ride. I love psychological thrillers and this one had it in spades.

I thought I knew how the plot was going to go, but I didn't, which is a pleasant rarity for me. Instead, there was a twist after a twist after a delicious twist and it was perfection.

This is a must-read if you love psychological thrillers as much as I do. Enjoy!!

Trying Out a Pole Fitness Class

Well, this should be interesting... Per a tweetee's recommendation, I just signed up for a Intro to Pole Fitness class at a local pole fitness studio.

Interesting because I am the biggest klutz in the world. Throw a pole into the mix and ack. But, will be intriguing to try it. I've read that one's arm strength increases from these classes, so that would be a good thing.

And, come on. It's pole fitness -- yes, fitness classes involving a pole like you'd find in a strip club. The studio also offers pole dancing classes and chair dancing classes and flexibility lessons a la yoga. Considering that the pole fitness classes themselves involve actually climbing up the pole (which just gave me flashbacks to having to climb the rope in gym class in middle school -- do I have to mention how badly that went? Didn't think so.), I'm thinking that the dance classes or flexibility ones might be more up my alley.

But I'll start out with the intro class and see how that goes first. And of course there will be a future blog post describing it. No question.

Favorite Smells

Received an email this morning from ThinkGeek, which featured Father's Day presents -- including soaps that smell like bacon, whiskey and coffee. Link here: Scented soaps

That email led me to ponder scents and smells -- What scents do you love the most, and what makes your nose want to plug itself up forever to avoid smelling that ever again?

My top scents include:

• Anything with a spicy smell to it -- a la the Spice candle from Bath and Body Works, which it looks like is only out during Winter months. Cinnamon = yum.
• Drakkar Noir -- this scent brings me right back to college because almost every guy drenched themselves in it.
• Soap -- reminds me of showers and enough said there. ;)
• Books -- the smell of a bookstore and all the books there. 
• Napalm in the morning -- how could I not add that? 

The scents that get a "No" from me. Solid, solid no.

• Lavender -- Just ick. Stay away. 
• The Sweet Pea fragrance from Bath and Body Works -- I have no idea what's in it, but no,
• Anything overly flowery -- Just too cloying.

So, what's on your list?

Sending S&M Love

Thank you, iPad. Thanks ever so much.

Just went to type "Sending some love" to a friend who's going through a tough time and the iPad (which is apparently a freak in the bed. Who knew?) decided that I meant "Sending S&M love".

I assure you, iPad, that was not meant. Wow.

Why Nefarious Vixens?

You might be wondering about the name of this blog. I know I would be. It all started when my good friend, Ginger and I were discussing the potential of our own podcast (information to come later on that) and possible topics, including a non-invitation to the pants party (follow up blog post to come on that). We knew we wanted to have Vixens in the name, but what to put in front of it? The possibilities were endless. We thought about our buddies at the Angry Mancave podcast (check them out and then give them a "like" on their Facebook page). Despite the name of "The Angry Mancave", don't let that fool ya. These guys aren't really all that angry. Sure, they get riled up about stuff in their podcast, but they'll also spend time talking sports and geeky movies. So the term "Angry" isn't all encompassing for them -- it's just a part of them. So, what's a part of us? Well, being wicked, but in all the good ways. However, I'm sure there are Wicked Vixens sites all over the place, and I wanted something different. Thanks to a FB discussion the other day, I stumbled across "Nefarious". What does that mean? Google defines it as follows:

NEFARIOUS:(typically of an action or activity) wicked or criminal. "the nefarious activities of the organized-crime syndicates" synonyms: wicked, evil, sinful, iniquitous, egregious, heinous, atrocious, vile, foul, abominable, odious, depraved, monstrous, fiendish, diabolical, unspeakable, despicable;

Okay, we're not criminal in the slightest, but wicked? That works. And there you have it -- a blog title was born.

Fighting Back: Buffy and Female Empowerment against Abusers

Caught an old episode of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" titled "Passion" (David Boreanaz -- would) this morning before work. When I first saw the episode decades ago, I took it as face value. Vampire slayer sleeps with vampire; vampire loses his soul due to true happiness; vampire then mentally tortures vampire slayer and her family and friends; vampire slayer kicks vampire's ass. You know --your normal every day scenario.

But, watching it today at an older age, I see a whole other side to it, which takes the all too real story of abusive boyfriends/spouses and puts a vampire spin on it. Thankfully, I've never had to deal with abuse of any sort (minus some mild bullying in the form of verbal abuse in school days, which I know could have been far worse), but I know far too many people who have dealt with abusive significant others in all shapes and forms.

In "Passions", Buffy gets to fight back against her abuser by quite literally kicking his ass and then (decades-old spoiler alert) killing him and sending him back to Hell right as he gets his soul back. Man, I hate when that happens. Buffy has always been a symbol of female empowerment and is never more so than when she demolishes her abusive boyfriend. What abused person doesn't dream about that and gaining their power back?

On a serious note, if you are being abused, there is help. Check out or call the National Domestic Abuse Hotline: The Hotline

No one deserves to be abused. Period.

The Poor Man's Sandra Dee

Before I go into this post, I should state that I am the biggest goody two-shoes on the planet when it comes to drugs -- have never even smoked a cigarette let alone tried anything else. You can start singing "Look at Me, I'm Sandra Dee" from "Grease" now. Go ahead. I'll wait...

All good? Do your best Rizzo voice? Excellent. Moving on.

With the above said, I have a feeling that drugs and I wouldn't work well together. I took a fast-acting anti-anxiety med that had been prescribed to me for work travel one night to try it out. That same night, I was convinced a blonde evil leprechaun peeked around the corner of the bedroom. Yeaaah, pretty sure that was not actually reality. Let's hope not, anyway. The real-life version of "Leprechaun" doesn't interest me. Just no. Evil leprechauns are the next step up from clowns and clowns are hideous creatures.

However, I keep hearing about how drugs (and this is about prescription drugs) affect people, and let me tell ya, it sounds like I'm missing out on a hell of a time. From a prescribed sleeping med causing the "most amazing sex of one's life" (with the kind of important side effect that one does not remember said night. Whoops) to an anti-depressant creating strong feelings of horndog'dom (it's a word) -- I've got to say I'm intrigued.

So, tell me. Any stories to share?

Songs that Get to You...

I'm not talking about songs that make you cry, or make you smile here. They're the ones that make you start to feel hot the second you hear them -- due to a memory affiliated with that song; or the sound of the drums that digs down into you. Those songs.

Was just listening to Civil Twilight's "Letters from the Sky" and that is one of those songs for me. The song gets quiet for a little while and then it crescendos at "We won't have to be..." and the drums let loose, and it just hits me. Wouldn't think it was a hot song, but ooooh, yes it is.

Another song like that for me is Love Spit Love's "How Soon is Now?". I was introduced to the song via the TV show "Charmed", but one night I was driving back from somewhere and the song came on the radio. And suddenly all I wanted to do was dance, so I started dancing around in the car because it was like I couldn't help myself but move. Also made me wonder if that song has ever been used in a strip club, because it would be the perfect song as a stripper undulates upon a pole.

So, what are your songs? Tell me.

Eff, Chuck or Marry?

Saw this post on Buzzfeed titled "10 Incredibly Sexy Rounds of Fuck, Chuck or Marry" and figured I'd answer it myself here, because why not? Play along, won'tcha?

1. Ryan Gosling, Channing Tatum, and Zac Efron
EFF: Channing Tatum -- Look at those abs, and the boy had moves in "Magic Mike", so he'd be great in bed. 'Nuf said.
CHUCK: Zac Efron -- Rocking body, but too young. Next.
MARRY: Ryan Gosling -- The total package. Hot and sweet.

Here's where things get difficult.

2. Katy Perry, Rihanna, and Beyonce
EFF: Rihanna, because she has a bit of crazy to her.
CHUCK: Do I have to? :( Okay, fine Beyonce -- pretty much by default.
MARRY: Katy Perry because she's a total girl crush of mine.

3. Guys from One Direction -- Zayn, Niall and Harry
CHUCK: All three of them. Far too young. Not interested. 

Okay, fine.

EFF: Zayn, because he looks the oldest of them all.
CHUCK: Niall
MARRY: Harry

4. Emma Watson, Jennifer Lawrence, and Emma Stone
EFF: Jennifer Lawrence because she's hot and goofy.
CHUCK: Emma Watson because she doesn't do anything for me.
MARRY: Emma Stone for no real reason.

5. Idris Elba, Daniel Craig and Benedict Cumberbatch
EFF: Idris Elba. No question. None.
CHUCK: Daniel Craig. But I'd feel bad doing so.
MARRY: Benedict Cumberbatch. So would. Drooling. When I read "50 Shades of Gray", he is who I pictured as the main character.

6. Kardashians -- Ack! Kourtney, Kim and Khloe
EFF: Khloe.
CHUCK: Kim -- mainly due to Kanye.
MARRY: Kourtney.

7. Anderson Cooper, George Clooney and Jon Stewart
EFF: George Clooney. Duh.
CHUCK: Anderson Cooper. Hot, but he'd prefer guys instead of me.
MARRY: Jon Stewart. He's funny and cute. Great combo.

8. Kerry Washington, Penelope Cruz and Jennifer Lopez
EFF: Penelope Cruz. Smokin' body.
CHUCK: J Lo
MARRY: Kerry Washington.

9. Pharrell, Justin Timberlake and Usher
EFF: Usher, because yeah, yeah, yeah...
CHUCK: Pharrell. It's okay. He'd still be happy.
MARRY: Justin Timberlake

10. Ellen Degeneres, Tina Fey, Mindy Kaling
EFF: Tina Fey, because humor is hilarious combined with a hot chick.
CHUCK: Ellen Degeneres. Cracks me up, but wouldn't.
MARRY: Mindy Kaling.

The Topic of Bulges

When one Googles "Jon Hamm" (and why wouldn't one, since he's hot?), one will invariably wind up seeing images of Jon Hamm's pants -- and specifically the bulge in said pants.

Since I've never watched "Mad Men", I wasn't privy to this information about Monsieur Hamm until I saw the pics and then I knew quite more about him than I did before. And I must say -- quite impressive, good sir. And even, dayum. Just dayum.

That led me to think about the glory of David Bowie's tights in "Labyrinth" (just one reason that's one of my top movies) and -- after a brief daydream  -- caused me to wonder: Do you find yourself glancing at the crotches of guys that you know and have you ever been caught doing so?

The thought of glancing at the crotches of males around me only occurs to me after seeing an article about Jon Hamm or the like, when it's on my mind and I find myself glancing at passerbys. Although, I once read an article about someone who found herself glancing at the crotch of someone she was interviewing. Awkward.

Of course, sometimes you can't help yourself and you wind up looking. I haven't been caught in a glance... yet.

So, fess up, have you glanced/looked/ogled?

The Hottest Female Celebs

Now that I've posted who's in my "Celebrity Freebie List", it's time to cover who I think the hottest female celebs are. ;)

Enjoy, kids!

1. Kate Beckinsale -- Loved her in "Serendipity" and thought she was amazing in "Underworld".
2. Olivia Munn -- Geek cred; hot; and she dated the insanely hot guy from "The Killing", Joel Kinnaman (who should also be on my celeb list.
3. Charisma Carpenter -- Rocked "Buffy" and I want to be her when I grow up, despite I think being the same age already... Smokin' hot.
4. Kristen Bell -- How could the Veronica Mars not be on this list? Love everything about her.
5. Sofia Vergara -- Gloria of "Modern Family". Enough said.

Reunion Hall Passes: This is Really a Thing??

So, apparently free "hall passes" at a reunion are a thing. I'll give that a second to sink in.

Yup, that means what you think it means.

I've heard the term "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas". Can't say I've heard "What happens at Reunion stays at Reunion", because that's not quite how it works. Just no.

But, yet, people apparently do think this. Have heard far too many tales of both men and women going to a class reunion and thinking that means they can hook up with no consequences, despite being married. Wow. When did this become okay?

Can't say I'm a fan if this is the "New Normal."

The "Freebie" List: Is Your List Laminated?

So, I think we've all seen that "Friends" episode where Ross has a run-in with someone that used to be on his Top 5 Celebrity Freebies list -- until he changed it and then laminated it. Fool!

My question is -- Who is on your Celeb Freebie list? Consider this an "I'll show you mine if you show me yours" concept. Here's my list -- non-laminated as it's ever-changing:

1. David Boreanaz -- Would. So would. There's a pic of him out there reclining in a tub. Yup. Yum. 
2. James Marsters --  Met him in person at a Super Megafest convention a few years back. He's a LOT shorter than I thought he'd be, but still so attractive. And has what appears to be arms of steel. 
3. Benedict Cumberbatch -- Newest addition to the list. Thank you, "Sherlock", for the introduction.
4. John Barrowman -- Yes, I know he plays for the other team, but I can still appreciate the deliciousness that he is. 
5. Robert Downey, Jr. -- Gets even hotter as he ages.