I have a couple of problems with the term:
- You supposedly have just one soulmate. Okay, great, you've met your soulmate. Fantastic. Excellent. But what if that person dies young or you guys just don't work out as a couple? So that's it? You're now doomed to unhappiness because that person was your one soulmate in the world? That's depressing!
- And what determines a soulmate? That you like the same things? That you feel the same way about things? That you think alike?
With that latter one, my first issue with it is that as people grow up, they learn what they like and what they don't like -- and if you're like me in my very self-conscious early dating days, you'll say you like something the other person likes to make them happy and think that will make them like you more, even if you don't. Note: I so don't recommend this.
"Oh, you like sailing? I loooove sailing!!"
"Oh, you like heavy metal music. I'm such a fan of Metallica!"
"Oh, you want to be a clown? I love clowns!!"
Okay, so that last one would never, ever happen (I loathe clowns), but the first two very much did happen. I don't love sailing -- I get seasick quite easily, and only thanks to seasickness pills do I do okay with it. Heavy metal music -- okay, I did grow to love some of it (a la "Enter the Sandman"), but most of it is just kind of noise to me.
Want to know what I love? I love --in no particular order:
- Cheesy romantic songs from the 70s. Barry Manilow or some "Silly Love Songs"? I swoon.
- Sci-fi shows like "Doctor Who"
- Psychological thriller books
- Action movies like "Die Hard" (Yippee ki yay...)
- Sappy romantic movies like "Love, Actually" and "Sleepless in Seattle"
- Italian food -- okay, semi-Italian food like Olive Garden
- French Vanilla coffee extra extra from Dunkin Donuts
My list there could go on and on, but that's just part of what makes me "me". Do I want someone who loves every single one of those things, too? Actually, no, because I'd get bored and wouldn't learn about anything new that I might also like.
When I was in college, my dream was to become an English professor and marry an English professor and live near a college campus and sit by the fire each night talking about books. That's not quite what happened. I didn't wind up teaching and married a great guy who got me hooked on Huey Lewis (heck, our first dance song was "World to Me") and introduced me to watching WWE wrestling -- which caused me to realize I'd been missing out on watching hot, muscular guys in speedos. Yum.
So, soulmates. I personally think there are a bunch of soulmates out there for everyone, and usually they're the people you wind up being great friends with. They could also wind up being a lover or a spouse, but there isn't just one.
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